Don't Let Disappointment Turn Into Bitterness

My church appears to be under spiritual attack. In the last few months we’ve lost people suddenly, had some people hospitalised and others are awaiting test results. This week, half of the members went down with covid so we’ve been forced to postpone our Spring Supper outreach event. It all feels a bit bewildering and has got to the stage where every time I receive an email I’m almost afraid to open it because I’m wondering what has happened now.

We all experience disappointment in life in one form or another; the relationship that failed, the promotion that was given to someone else, the injury that caused us to miss out on a trophy, the person who seemed to be a friend but proved untrustworthy. More significantly; the death of a loved one, the loss of a livelihood, the child born with disabilities, the diagnosis of a terminal illness. The list is endless.

It may be stating the obvious, but anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time will tell you that they have experienced just as much pain and suffering as the non-believer living down the road. Sometimes, more.

The problem is that, whether we recognise it or not, a lot of our theology has been shaped by the prosperity gospel; God wants us to be healthy, wealthy and happy and to live our best life now. So, when this is not our experience, we subconsciously feel that we must have done something wrong, or that God doesn’t love us, or has abandoned or forgotten us. Instead of remembering that the Christian life is a daily battle, we wonder “why me?”

We feel that we cannot voice our disappointment with God as Christians aren’t meant to have such feelings, so we internalise it and in time it can make us bitter and angry.

Recently, I was listening to a sermon and the preacher told an incredible story about two Swedish missionary families that had gone to serve in a remote location in the Congo. When they arrived, the tribes people were extremely hostile and refused to even let them speak, let alone settle amongst them. One family gave up and moved somewhere less remote. The remaining couple with their small child were forced to build a mud hut, outside the area, in the jungle. The only concession from the tribes people was that a young boy could bring them eggs and chickens every so often. During his visits, the wife shared the Gospel with this young boy who, after some time, made a profession of faith.

Shortly after giving birth to their second child, the wife died from an illness leaving the husband with an apparently fruitless ministry and two small children in the middle of nowhere. He gave up, took the newborn baby (Aggie) to the original missionary family and left her with them. He returned to Sweden with the toddler and walked away from the faith completely refusing even to allow God’s name to be mentioned in his presence. He married his wife’s sister, who wasn’t a believer, and had four additional children, then became an alcoholic and developed diabetes. The missionary couple that had fostered Aggie also died in a suspected poisoning so she was handed to a childless couple who happened to be visiting at the time.

This sad story would be seriously depressing if it ended here.

The couple later adopted Aggie and she went on to marry and have her own children. One day, she received a copy of a magazine from an anonymous sender in the post. There was a picture of a gravestone in the Congo and she recognised her mothers name. Reading the article, she discovered that the little boy who her mother had witnessed to had founded a Christian school in his village and had shared the Gospel with many others. There were now 600 believers in that area alone!

Aggie decided that she had to share this news with the now ailing father who had abandoned her. She went to his bedside and when she started to speak about God he cut her off stating that God had deserted him in the jungles of the Congo all those years before. She persisted and told him about the little boy and the many converts. Hearing this, he turned back to God then died a few weeks later.

Hearing this story, many things went through my mind. Humanly speaking, the whole thing seems impossible. What if the little boy hadn’t understood the message, or hadn’t cared enough to tell anyone, or hadn’t been the type to assert himself, or had died at a young age? Any of these things would have been possibilities, maybe even likelihoods, without God orchestrating events.

What of the man who, having started well, had allowed his disappointment and grief to turn to bitterness turning his back on God until his final days. What of his second wife and the children he had raised as a non-believer angry with God. What a tragic waste.

We can almost find ourselves feeling sorry for this man and thinking that his reaction is understandable. He had given up everything to serve God on a foreign field and as well as the rejection by the natives, God had allowed him to be stripped of everything that was important to him. It was only when, years later, God in His mercy revealed that the pain and suffering had not all been purposeless, that he repented of his bitterness.

It’s worth asking ourselves whether our faith would stand up to these tests. Will we serve God when our ministry appears fruitless, when we face one setback after another, or even when we face serious persecution?

I’m not wanting to minimise the suffering in our nation, but for some perspective, I’ve just read In God’s Underground by Richard Wurmbrand, a pastor in Communist Romania who was imprisoned for many years and tortured for his faith. The violence is described in graphic and horrifying detail so don’t rush out and buy it if you are sensitive.

When we face disappointments, we should acknowledge them and allow ourselves time to grieve the loss of a person, opportunity or ministry. We can ask God the why questions but we may not get an answer (Job didn’t). We may need extra support, encouragement and help from our church family for a while, or maybe longer.

However, we mustn’t allow our disappointments to turn to bitterness and fester in our soul damaging our relationship with God. This is the devil’s ultimate goal, he doesn’t just want to cause a Christian pain, or make them suffer on Earth, he wants to cause them to doubt God and to destroy their faith completely leading to eternal torment. The spiritual battle is real and we must be ready to fight even when things seem impossible, or circumstances threaten to overwhelm us.

Imagine dealing with all these difficulties as a non-believer. Then, the suffering is pointless with no hope even in death.

As believers, God promises never to leave or forsake us. He is with us in the disappointments of life that will inevitably come our way. Let’s persevere and keep trusting Him in the knowledge that we have eternal life in Heaven to look forward to!

Why Christians Should Not Have Gone Silent in the Case of Enoch Burke

I’m sure I don’t need to further identify the title character who has now somehow reached the dizzying heights of headlines in most of the UK news media. Enoch Burke has become a household name being ridiculed by most but admired, mostly quietly, by some who are probably just glad they haven’t ended up in the same situation.

It might seem funny to create St Patrick's Day floats and design Mother’s Day cards with cartoon images of Burke forlornly standing outside the school from which he has now been dismissed, but this is a family man and an evangelical Christian who, despite the devastating consequence, has chosen to stand up for what he believes is right.

For those who haven’t kept up, the bizarre set of circumstances that has now resulted in Burke not only being sacked as a teacher but also imprisoned and subject to an ever increasing daily fine, began last year when he refused to call a “transgender” child by their preferred pronouns. Quite rightly, Burke stated that he was unable to comply because such an action conflicted with his Christian beliefs.

You might have thought that, at this stage, the principal of the school would take some time to consider the wisest way forward as even a simpleton knows that gender/sex and religion are both protected from discrimination under the Equality and Human Rights Act.

 Instead, he was immediately suspended, an action which would usually only occur if keeping someone in a workplace caused an unacceptable risk of further harm. Another reason might be to prevent someone tampering with evidence or to prevent them interfering with the investigation. None of these apply to this scenario which leads to the conclusion that no investigation was intended and the decision had been made to dismiss him immediately without due process. (I’m sure this aspect will be picked up and challenged when the furore dies down.)

So far, nothing particularly spectacular as sadly we are seeing daily reports of Christians being suspended, then sacked in similar situations across the UK. It’s worth mentioning that many of these people have later received compensation or been reinstated, usually after lengthy court battles, but the emotional damage is catastrophic for the individuals and their families.

In many ways, I’m grateful that my own small scrape with the politically correct brigade took place 15 years ago when gay and transgender rights didn’t trump all others; my police force did drag me through a disciplinary procedure but didn’t suspend me. For the full story you can read Planet Police.

Enoch Burke, however, wasn’t going to meekly take his unfair punishment; despite the suspension, he turned up at the school daily insisting on his “right to work”. The school obtained a court order banning him from the premises, he continued his protest, was arrested and then imprisoned for contempt of court. His brother has now also been arrested for a public order offence after protesting at one of his appeal hearings. What a muddle….but is he right?

I don’t think we can be dogmatic one way or the other about Burke’s response to his suspension. If he honestly believes that God has placed him in that workplace and he is taking a stand for something that conflicts with his beliefs, then it is a conscience issue for him. You could say that the disciples, whose work was preaching the Gospel, refused to stop in order to obey God rather than men. They too were imprisoned and many were martyred for their faith.

However, Christians can and should be dogmatic about the original cause of the suspension. We should challenge cultural pressure that seeks to force us to sin; to lie and state that a girl is actually a boy or a man a woman. We shouldn’t withdraw from the debate, hide away or stay silent when Christian freedoms are at stake.  

Health professionals are being forced to change patient records when they change gender which is actually the crime of falsifying records under current UK law. It’s also potentially damaging to patients who won’t be picked up for the various gender specific cancer screenings, or whose medical condition might be misunderstood without the true information.

The trend is continuing; a street preacher was arrested for “misgendering” someone who approached him and asked his views on the LGBT movement. Incredibly, he was convicted at Magistrates Court before his conviction was later quashed on appeal. The most worrying thing about this case was the hounding and abuse of the preacher by the crowd who largely seemed to support the view that he had committed a homophobic hate crime simply by speaking the truth.

Another headline this week stated that teachers are tiptoeing around as they are afraid of saying something that will cause them to end up like Enoch Burke. Those of us who are Christians must stand up and be counted, or it won’t be long before we too fall foul of the same cultural swing that took away his livelihood and freedom.

So often our Christian lives are comfortable and we get along with everyone. Is this harmony only because we are afraid to speak out? Is it because we haven’t even identified ourselves as Christians let alone taken a stand on anything important? Are we more worried about offending people than speaking the truth in love? What about the eternal destiny of those around us; have we offered true hope in Jesus?  

We should remember that “everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (2 Timothy 3 vs 12)

I’m sure that’s Enoch Burke’s heart desire. Let’s pray for him and his family as he deals with the fallout.